Finding My Way
by booknerd104
Summary: Clarissa Fray, aka Clary, was abandoned as a young child. Nightmares of blood and death have plagued her all her life. Now a mysterious man has entered her life saying he knows what happened to her mother...
1. Chapter 1

_Blood._

 _Blood everywhere._

 _Where is mommy? Mommy?!_

 _I can't see! It's so dark!_

 _Mommy where are you?!_

 _MOMMY!_

I jerked awake as the scream caught in my throat. My eyes darted around the room to reassure myself that I was safe, I was in my house, and there was no blood. Panting I pushed the tangled covers off my body. Sweat was running down my body and my hands were shaking from fear.

Julius, my two year old German Shepard, lifted his head from the foot of my bed. He looked at me and tilted his head.

"I'm fine Julius. Just another nightmare." I reached down and patted his head to comfort him but I think we both knew the comfort was for me.

I had decided two years ago that I was tired of being alone and scared all the time. I had always wanted a dog as a child so I thought getting a guard dog would help. Julius was trained to be a guard dog but he was also my best friend. Ever since I saw his cute furry face I fell in love and a part of my loneliness lifted.

"Well I'm going to get a shower. I feel all hot and sticky." I told Julius.

Sometimes I forgot that he couldn't understand what I was saying. I would often talk to him like another person and sometimes I could swear that he understood what I was saying.

As I rinsed the nightmare from my skin I began to feel somewhat calmer and more relaxed. I hated the nightmares that have plagued me since childhood. I don't remember the first part of my life. The earliest memory I have was the stars. I was six when the police found me in the local park. It was well below freezing and I was lucky that they even saw me. The report said that I wasn't making a sound. I was just lying there staring blankly into the sky. My clothes and skin were covered in blood but they don't know whose. I was abandoned there in that park. No one could find my parents so I was put into foster care. I had some good homes and some not so good homes, but I survived… for the most part.

All of a sudden I was aware that the water had turned freezing and Julius was whining at the door.

"I'm coming buddy. Give me a second."

I grabbed my towel and briskly dried off to warm my body and change into my usual outfit of t-shirts and jeans. I worked as an artist so I didn't have to dress to impress. I also lived far out in the country. I have never been able to tolerate living close to people. I need space and room to breathe. Living so far out I have learned to rely on myself even more than what I was used to. I have my own garden full of vegetables and fruit, plus when I did go to town I buy in bulk. Bags of flour and sugar that weighed 50lbs, bags of 30lb rice, and a lot of cereal. Cereal can be ate at any time of the day so I often went through a lot of cereal. Mmm i think it's time for a bowl.

Stepping out of the bathroom I realized that Julius needed to be let out. He was running all around the house and whining like crazy. Put him in the face of an intruder and he was calm as could be, but as soon as his bladder was full he was back to being a puppy yipping all over the house.

"Alright, alright I'll let you out, just calm down." I don't have to worry about a leash because Julius never went far, the trainers said he might try to wonder off but he never leaves my side. As soon as I open the backdoor Julius is bounding off into the yard. Almost as if a thought occurred to him he turned and looked to see if I was still on the porch. The moment he saw I was still in sight he took off to find a spot to relieve himself.

* _knock knock_ *

Lost in thought I didn't hear the light knocking on the front door.

" _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_ "

Jerked out of thought I glanced at my watch and noticed it was 6:30.

"Who in the hell is here at this ungodly hour and at MY house?!"

Without thinking and mumbling to myself I stalked over to the front door and yanked it open.

"Just what in the bloody hell do you think you are doing knocking on my door at this hour?!" I yelled to stranger standing in front of me. My initial anger had clouded my vision so I didn't notice that the man standing on my porch was drop dead gorgeous with golden hair and piercing eyes to match. He was a good foot taller than my five foot self with wide shoulders that tapered down to a lean waist.

Hearing my yell Julius ran around the small house running straight for the male standing on my porch.

Damn it I forgot about Julius being out. If he bites this man this could cause trouble. Stupid gorgeous man ruining my morning, and upsetting my dog.

"Julius heel!"

Instantly Julius stopped charging the man who was trying to back away slowly.

"Julius come." I commanded.

Julius made his way towards me but kept his eyes on what he perceived to be a threat. Finally he made his way to me but he made sure to stand between me and the unknown man.

"Are you Clarrissa Fray?" The man asked. Damn even his voice was hot.

"Who's asking?"

"My name is Jace Lightwood and I think I know what happened to your mother."


	2. Chapter 2

*****Sooooooooooo I know it has been like forever and a day but here is another chapter! If you have read any of my other stuff then you know how lazy I am, and I will not apologize for it. APOLOGIZING IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS! And I am a man! A manly man! Okay that was a lie. I'm not really a man. Or am I? Anywhoo! On with the story! Hope you enjoy. And you BETTER comment…. Bye Bye!*****

My mother was found dead a few days after I was found in that park. I never knew my father so my mother was my whole life. She was everything. She always had a smile on her face and

"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong person Mr. Lightwood." I rushed out as I started to close the door in his face. I can't deal with this right now. Not today of all days, especially after that nightmare. My emotions can't take much more.

"Wait!" he yelled as he stuck his hand in the door.

"She was found with her throat torn out and her hair was braided with white flowers intertwined, am I right?"

My body froze and my heart started to pound in fear. How did he know that? No one but the police and myself knew about the white flowers.

He had to leave. What if he was connected to her murder? What if he knew the killer?

"G-go aw-w-way," I stuttered in fear as I tried one last time to shove the door close, not caring if I broke his hand. He quickly removed his hand when he realized that it was about to be smashed. I slowly sunk down the closed door, sobbing quietly into Julius's fur, who had been standing on guard the whole time. Why today? Why did he have to come today? August 23, my birthday and also the day my mother was murdered.

I could hear her crying softly from the other side of the door. I probably shouldn't have blurted out how her mother had died. I knew it was a painful memory and it didn't help that today was the anniversary of her death. Maryse always said subtlety was never a strong suite of mine.

"Ms. Fray," I called softly.

"Ms. Fray please let me in. I think I can help you find who did this to your mother." I gently coaxed her.

If only she would open the door and talk to me. There was something about all that red hair that she tried to tame with a ponytail, and those brilliant green eyes that just drew me in and left my heart beating a mile a minute. At first this feeling confused me. I'm usually the one causing's hearts to flutter with women throwing themselves at me. Why wouldn't they though? With my godlike body and sensual face, I was every women's dream. Oh and don't forget the golden hair. Women love a man with beautiful hair. However, now I'm the one spell bound, and it's strange but I kind of like it.

I heard a muffled sob and what I think was her telling me to go away, which was never going to happen. She needs me and I'm going to help her anyway that I can. That is if she will let me.

"Clarissa I'm not leaving until you talk to me." I said loudly enough so that she could hear me through the door. Maybe using her first name will get her attention.

I faked a sigh and sank down to sit on the top step. Stubborn little redhead. Didn't she know I was trying to help her? I guess I'll just wait her out. I have all the time in the world.

That stupid, irritating, nerve grinding man is about to die. Julius is about to get a tasty snack. Why won't he leave?! He has been sitting out there for THREE hours, just sitting there and looking all hot and gorgeous. It's getting really irritating, especially since he since he started singing very loudly and very much off key I might add, about thirty minutes ago.

"Julius this is why I don't date. Men are stubborn, irritating, and don't know when to stop!" I said loudly, knowing that imbecile could hear me from the other side of the door. Ugghhhh I wish he would just leave.

Then I heard the most nauseating sound known to man.

"IT'S JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY! I WISH IT WERE SUNDAY! CAUSE THAT'S MY FUN DAY!"

I could feel myself slowly dying inside.

This. Is. The. Last. Straw.

"It's not even Monday you blabbering idiot! Why in the hell would you sing that song on the wrong day? It makes no sense whatsoever to sing about a certain day of the week on the wrong day! And what is so great about Sunday?" I yelled as I stood with the door wide open, glaring at the most infuriating man on the planet.

"Because that is my fun day," he said with a smirk. "You know Mrs. Fray you really need to get out more if you don't realize how great a Sunday can be."

I could feel my head start to throb.

"What do you want," I said through clenched teeth.

Instantly his demeanor changed from an arrogant prick and softened to someone more caring.

"I just want to help you Mrs. Fray." He said sincerely, his golden eyes pleading with me.

Don't do it.

Don't fall for it Clarissa Fray. You are stronger than this.

"Fine," I heard myself say.

And I did it.

"Come on in. Oh and its Clary, and if you ever call me Clarissa again I will feed you to Julius for a light snack."


End file.
